I attended a community event this past weekend, and as a guest, I was asked to introduce myself. In that moment I was reminded again about the importance that so many place on identity and the psychology behind the desire to be seen as relevant, important, and standing equal among one’s peers.
I cannot tell you when it happened for me, yet I have known for decades that what I do is not who I am. My identity has never been linked to a title, position, or salary. At my core I am a man, a creative soul, humorous, spontaneous, entrepreneurial, and driven. I find joy in serving others, I value time alone, and my significance is anchored to an awareness that my life has purpose and meaning. Not because of who I am, but because I am loved, seen, and valued by my Creator.
I know in my coaching that I will sometimes encounter an ego, agenda, or someone’s self-importance that is inhibiting our work together. When that is happening, I merely start asking questions and probe to find the source of the emotional behavior I am witnessing. I like to remind leaders that we have a story; we each have experiences, situations, and circumstances that influence and impact us. As soon as we master those thoughts and feelings – usually tethered to fear and insecurity – a leader can grow beyond these factors.
Be the person who sees themselves clearly, in the reality of their humanity, and set the mask, ego, and fearful behaviors down. They do not serve you well and inhibit your success, growth, and happiness.
