Coaching Bravery
How do you speak into fear? How do you curb a sense of dread and turn it into an opportunity of possibility? Why are you allowing fear to control where experience and past success showcase your positive leadership outcomes? Are you a leader of purposeful impact or self-sabotage?
These are great questions to ponder and ones that I deal with often in my work with leaders. It’s important to understand the root of the apprehension. When a leader is consumed with self-doubt, fear, and captured in the inability to move forward, that is a leader trapped in me, myself, and I. This is a condition that sidelines organizations, teams, and stated goals and objectives.
Where are these thoughts coming from and better yet, what factors are at play that have allow them to curtail your leadership impact for good?
Yes, there is a bit of psychology that I use in my leadership conversations and asking a few key questions allow a deeper and more meaningful discussion that reveal what I am ultimately pursuing: coaching bravery. The element of bravery in a product of honed experiences and the ability to push past the noise to secure the outcome desired for the benefit of the workforce and the accomplishment of organizational goals.
Too many leaders spend an inappropriate amount of time processing the implications of failure. The loss of career, respect, impact, and influence. The nights of lost sleep, the anxious thoughts entertained, and the emotional toll of embracing and giving fear a foothold are detrimental to a leader’s progress and success. Here are three things that I do that combat or silence the fears that come with occupying the leadership chair.
Who are you? You know yourself the best. Never embrace, “I don’t know.” Explore and know your best elements, your weaknesses, and who you are in the multiple roles you hold as leader, spouse, friend, relative, and individual. "Know thyself" (Gnothi seauton) is an ancient Greek aphorism inscribed on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, most famously popularized by Socrates. It signifies that self-awareness, understanding one's own limitations, motives, and character is the foundation of all wisdom and the starting point for a meaningful life.
Lean into what you do well: Not every element of the leadership role is your strong suit. You may communicate well, be the stellar face of the organization, and be the best to deliver the challenging news or the elements of success to the organization. When it comes to your shortcomings, and every leader has them, you can wallow in the assurance that you are not enough or embrace hiring someone who is better meeting these specific defined needs within the organization. The best leaders know their limits and empower others without having their egos impacted.
Remember, leadership is not about you: Wanting a role and securing it are two different things. The excitement and anticipation of getting a role are motivational in your career pursuits. When the role is secured, the reality of the responsibility sets in and for some leaders, that sets off their insecurities, and this impacts their decision-making and healthy leadership choices. It’s time to step back, appreciate the role you have earned, and learn quickly that the team around you is there to help and not harm. Yes, you will be tasked to ensure that and this work with your team is of paramount importance to ensure their success, which is your success. The best leaders know that leadership is never about them and is all about the development of others. Leaders know the goal and the team works with them to accomplish it one day at a time.
I coach a leader into bravery by reminding them of what is true. Standing on that truth – a track record of accomplishment is where we start – having them detail why they wanted the role is middle ground – and detailing their success in working with others to accomplish the goals – is where the seeds of bravery are formed. Where bravery grows is considering the promise and potential of every situation and circumstance. Yes, that takes a change of mindset and breaking bad habits. The best leaders have done it, are doing it, and so can you with time, effort, and a commitment to yourself and others.
Doesn’t your organization deserve the best leader? Embrace bravery so it’s not you standing in the way of making that happen.
